Archive for the Kyle’s Shitty Lifestyle Category

January

Posted in Kyle's Shitty Lifestyle on February 4, 2008 by coryangennet

Again, since I got this genius idea late in the month, remembering everything he’s done so far is going to be kind of hard. This entry may be a little short (definitely compared to the last one).

PileLet’s start with his messiness. Since his roommate Brandon moved out, and we never got a new roommate, he has the whole bedroom to himself. Because of this, his shit pile has moved onto the vacant bed. In a way, I’m thankful it’s not piling into the living room anymore, but it’s still unsightly on the rare occasion that he has his door open. He also moved from constant energy drinks to constant Mountain Dew consumption. We figure he went through a 24 pack of it in about a week and half. Now that really doesn’t bother me, he can drink all of whatever that he wants, but I don’t like having 5 or more MD cans laying around the living room/kitchen. His cleaning is improving a little bit, but now it’s going a little too far.

Now, he’s not only doing his own dishes, but he’s offering to do ours too. And it doesn’t end there. We used to have these packets of soap that would go into the dish washer, but when we ran out of those he started using some kind of liquid soap. This would be fine, but he obviously doesn’t know how to use it, because at least three times (one of those times being last quarter, around Thanksgiving) the dish washer has overflowed with suds onto the floor. I finally went out and bought some of those packets after a maintenance guy at our building came to the door saying that something was leaking into the apartment below us. Continuing on the fact that he’s still creepy, imagine waking up to it on the weekends.

Since I don’t have classes on Friday, I have a 3 day weekend every weekend, so I sleep in. I tend to wake up first out of our room, at around noon or so, and come out to find him curled up on the couch, without a shirt, watching boring TV. Now, if that doesn’t already seem weird enough, he tends to mumble a “Good morning.” everytime I enter the living room. Have you ever seen Superbad? If you have, recall the scene where Evan and Seth wake up at the end and Evan mumbles that awkward “good morning”. That’s what it’s like every day of the weekend. We’re going to finish off this post with a continuation of the last. His late night antics.Smoke Detector

Of course, I am writing this at 2 AM, but I don’t start cooking at 1. Yeah, I don’t think he knows the meaning of the word ‘SNACK’. Every time he eats something, he has to take out a pan, and grill something up (usually onions). It’s not just the fact that he’s cooking so late, but he also never turns on the fan that’s on the stove, which always results in setting off the smoke detectors. He did it Friday night at about 1:30, and he did it again today in the afternoon.

Again, this post was a little skimpy, and a few of the latter incidents happened in the first few days of February, so I’m sorry. I will probably limit the posts of this category to every month, but I will document the incidents as they occur, as to not forget anything. Also, the pictures in this post (obviously) aren’t really taken from the apartment.  For the next post, maybe I’ll get some real-life photos for proof.  Thanks for reading…

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First Quarter

Posted in Kyle's Shitty Lifestyle on January 25, 2008 by coryangennet

Well, since I came up with this amazing idea a month into my second quarter here at the GrandMarc, I’ll have to let you all know about the stuff that happened in the first.

(Just to forewarn, these events may not be in chronological order, but you’ll get the gist of it.)

It all started when we moved in.  Of course, it was a little awkward for us all at first.  I mean, 4 guys who had never met, yeah.  However, it all got worse as we decided to go out and check out the surroundings as a group, but Kyle didn’t really feel like it.  That’s fine, but after it started being a regular occurrence that he would rather stay in that come to do random things with us, it became apparent that he just didn’t want to hang out with us.  So that was the end of our reach out program.

We soon came to realize that while we went out to eat and see weird Wes Anderson indie flicks, he’s at home watching things like The Food Network, The Animal Planet or The Discovery channel.  Or if he felt like watching something with a real storyline he would pop in one of his classic DVDs, such as, A Bug’s Life, The Phantom of the Opera or just kick back and watch some 2006 Winter Guard Awards Competition (yeah, girls swirling flags and dudes spinning fake guns, which he still has in the apartment, by the way).

So now that we’ve figured out what he’s been doing while we were gone, let’s take a look at the odd things he did when we were here.  Well first of all he takes Ritalin, which I know isn’t his fault, but I don’t think drinking a 20 oz energy drink right after is a great idea.  I don’t know if it was a side-effect, but he tended to bounce around a lot more around these times.  Remember, he’s culinary, so he has a really spiffy knife set.  I was watching the movie Halloween on AMC and he stood in the middle of the room and sharpened one of his la-a-a-arge knives.  That’s just creepy.  In fact he did quite a lot of creepy things.  Some of those include his way of always having the most awkward way of starting conversations, and asking those weird mother-like questions like “How was your day?” or “Are you feeling better today?”, as well as his odd offers of money, groceries, & what-have-you.  But probably one of the more creepier things is his crazy way of randomly storming out of the room, or just staying locked in his bedroom while we had people over.  I would say he’s one of the creepiest people I’ve ever known.  Of course, towards the end of the term, we all stayed up late doing projects, getting ready to leave, and what not.  However, while we were doing this he would hang out in his room, and when we all went to bed, he decided to come out, work, and cook at absurd times of the night.

He’s not only creepy, boring, and completely unsocial, he’s quite unhealthy in many ways.  From what we could tell, he never used the shower that was provided in the bathroom that was attached to his bedroom.  Also, in his bedroom, was a large desk that we helped him and his mom bring up.  However, he did not use the desk for work (he did most of his work sprawled out on the living room floor…) but for throwing his unwashed clothes on top of.  Now, not only did his clothes cover his desk, but towards the end of the term they started to spill over into the living room.  But wait, there’s more!  He’s a culinary student, as I mentioned already.  That means that he is a chef, so you’d think that he would keep his workspace (aka the kitchen that the four of us share) clean.  But he didn’t.  In fact, it was quite the opposite.  It was always dirty.  The stovetop was always a mess, and the fridge was completely overloaded with his mess of his crappy pots and pans of his crappy leftover dishes.  In his bedroom, we once found a glass of some liquid with a nice layer of mold on top, which was right next to his pillow.  That doesn’t even effect us, that’s just unhealthy for him…  One thing that did effect us was when, during one of the first weeks, he brought out a bag of grapes, which he then left out for another week or two and they attracted some amazing little friend to our apartment, some lovely fruit flies that didn’t go away for a few days.  And who could forget the surprise I found when I came back during break to drop my sister off at the airport.  Let’s just say there was mold and dirt that was left from before break, that still wasn’t picked up.  I almost vomited.

So, if you didn’t get it from this long, long, long post, Kyle is a horrible fucking roommate.  To sum up how horrible he is, his actual in-room roommate left.  He moved away to another school (granted, there were other reasons, but still…).  He’s a douche.

Prelude to the Shit

Posted in Kyle's Shitty Lifestyle on January 25, 2008 by coryangennet

So, in October of 2007 I moved to Minneapolis, Minnesota to attend the Art Institutes International Minnesota (Ai for short). In doing so, I moved into a school-sponsored apartment with 3 other roommates; Jared, Brandon, and, of course, Kyle. Kyle is a culinary student, who has had a long history just being a crappy roommate. This blog category will be dedicated to the stupid, annoying, nasty things that he has done so far. I will update this, probably weekly, with a new addition to Kyle’s Shitty Lifestyle.